There Once Was A
by dave-d
Summary: Naruto and the gang, together, after he had embarrassed himself earlier with his choice of words.  Somehow, the the topic turned to Limericks. More words. What trouble could that possibly cause?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N:_

**WARNING** : this story contains spoilers from the recent manga, along with some extrapolations that are not canon. What's more, it contains off-color humor that might prove offensive to some, or be seen as inappropriate for younger readers.

It's also l-o-n-g, for those who are bothered by stories of any length. And, for those that find a lightly humorous story to be a drag if it has no real plot, then this might not be a good story for you, either.

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The sun hung hot overhead.

Bright and warming rays illuminated the wide streets of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, casting long shadows in front of the trio.

"I can understand why he is feeling bad…." Sai looked over at Naruto, before catching Sakura's glance." "…I think…." The dark haired boy still had difficulty understanding the whole concept of emotions, much less any one feeling in particular. "He was a great man."

"That's not it!" Naruto quickened his stride, almost as if he could out walk the topic that his teammate just brought up. He grimaced, as the sensation was much like that of a crusted bandage torn off of a healing wound. "I _don't _want to talk about that!" The subject of Jiraiya's death stung far too much, even one month after the Sannin had heroically taken down the leader of Akatsuki and the blue-haired woman whose name he couldn't recall at the moment. Great as he was, Ero-Sennin didn't have enough left to defeat Uchiha Madara after that.

"Were you thinking about Sasuke again?" Sakura felt her own throat grow thick. Shielding her eyes from the intense sunlight, she pictured the sharing an-eyed missing ninja in the after-image of that actinic glare. "We don't have to give up hope, you know." Even though Itachi was dead, and his surviving brother no longer had need to be an avenger, Sasuke had stayed with Snake, the group he had formed. That caused her to grit her teeth and make a face. She did not like that Karin character one bit! What's more, she felt a sour feeling in the pit of hers stomach when she felt about the subject of loyalty. How could Sasuke feel beholden to that red-haired freak and those other two shinobi? What had Karin done to Sasuke? If not her, Orochimaru? Itachi?

"That's not it, either!" Naruto frowned when he passed an adult book store. That reminded him of the frog Hermit. His scowl deepened when he say a father break a Popsicle in two and hand one half to his son. He walked even quicker when he saw a group of youths holding balloons. "And I _don't _want to talk about Sasuke!" He felt as if Fate was conspiring against him. They were walking past the spot where he had given his Promise of a Lifetime to his pink-haired teammate. His mind a blur, he rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away images of Sasuke, Jiraiya, Sarutobi, and others.

"Well… you sure seem to be in a funk…." Kakashi walked over to join the group, uncovered eye glued to the page of the last _Icha Icha _book written by the original author. "I would have thought you be all smiles now, after hearing the truth." He was talking about Naruto's meeting with Tsunade, Homura Mitokado, and Koharu Utatane the other day. They had finally told him the truth about his parentage. It was something that Jiraiya would have wanted them to do. He sighed, thinking about Konoha's Yellow Flash, and about the man who had trained him. Looking at the three young shinobi, he felt a sense of pride, believing that their generation would leave the village in good hands.

"I am!" Naruto used fingers from both hands to pull his lips apart, making a grotesque and momentarily painful smile. He still had trouble believing the things he had been told. Namikaze Minato. Perhaps the greatest ninja Konoha ever produced. A man who sacrificed himself to save everyone. His father. He looked up at the stone Hokage faces. "Doesn't a guy have the right to feel out of sorts or something?!" He caught sight of a red-haired woman and sighed wistfully. What had she been like? His mother. Uzumaki Kushina. A former ninja of the Land of the Whirlpool. She had had red hair. "Maybe I'm just irregular…." He wasn't really constipated. He simply said that to shut everyone up. He clenched his fist when he caught Sakura silently mouthing "You can say that again," implying he was a different kind of 'irregular.'

"And, I should think the prospect of becoming Hokage should brighten your mood. The Fourth Hokage was your father. The Fifth Hokage gave you're her necklace." Sai still considered himself hopelessly clueless about interpersonal relations. He could remember all too well how Naruto had exploded at him, when he had been the one trying to feed him Ramen after the _F__ū__ton-Rasenshuriken_ used on Kakuzu had left the blonde-haired dynamo too injured to feed himself.

Nonetheless, he felt compelled to cheer his friend up, even though Naruto clearly had other intentions at the moment. Raising one eyebrow, he pointed over at a small shop, bright red door open to the public. It was the village apothecary. "And… if you are having difficulty with your bowel… we could stop in there and purchase a laxative." He didn't see Sakura's eyes go wide or notice her shaking her head and waving her hands. "I believe that the Hokage gives Knotweed to Choji when he has similar complaints. That, or the fruit of the Raisintree."

**_"SAI!" _**Naruto nearly bit through his lip when he heard his teammate's suggestion. He didn't stop to think that he himself was at fault, having made an untrue inference. His irate shout carried across the crowd, catching the attention of numerous people. Some of them were people he knew. Fellow shinobi. That impulsive verbal explosion had them looking in his direction. Before he knew it, they headed his way. That would prove his undoing. "Oh no… not them… they know…." He looked for an avenue of escape. His approaching friends had been there. That had heard and seen it all. Sai and Sakura had been excused from that lesson.

"Well… will you look who it is…." Kiba. Of course, the first one to speak was Kiba. A huge grin spread across his face as he waved his arm in his orange-clad friend's direction, before draping that extremity around Akamaru's broad neck. "Naruto… Konoha's pride and joy…." He laughed as he elbowed Shino and saw Hinata begin fidgeting with her fingers. "The world famous poet…." He nodded a greeting to Shikamru, who was passing by with Choji and Ino in tow.

"Come on guys…." Naruto reached out and grabbed Sai's sleeves. He was practically begging Sakura with his eyes. "If we take too long, all the good food will be gone." He wasn't really hungry. He was hoping that Sai and Sakura were. But, even if that were the case, the attempt was doomed to failure. They had been headed to the practice fields, not to the restaurant district.

"That's right!" Ino chirped, oblivious to the hang dog look on Shikamau's face that clearly said 'This will be a drag,' or the way that Choji's face had practically become luminous when he thought about eating. "If the Ichiraku Ramen Bar runs out of Ramen, where will Naruto get his inspiration?" She stood a little taller, seeing that Sakura was clearly ignorant of preceding events.

"Yeh… sure… _whatever_…." Naruto almost sounded frantic. His face grew warm when he thought back to events from earlier that day. He had a firm grip on Sai's and Sakura's arms. But, the pink-haired girl dug in her heels and pried lose his fingers.

"Does _this_ have something to do with your cranky mood?" She looked at Naruto for an answer rather than give Ino any credit. She cringed for an instant when She saw Lee step into view, noticing how his face immediately became adorned with a lovesick look in her presence. She scowled almost as fiercely as the Inner Sakura did when Sai whispered 'Maybe you should remain silent' in her ear. The nerve of him, trying to tell _her_ what to do! Especially since he was the one who usually spoke the wrong thing at the most inopportune time.

"I would hazard a guess that it does," Shino put in, adjusting his cowl. He still hated being left out of things, or being overlooked. Those type of things bothered him more than people's looking at him as if he were some kind of freak. But, at that moment, he had to admit that there were drawbacks to being the center of attention. "He _was_ rather upset earlier." He cocked his head and then nodded. "Ahhh… yes… that's why you would ask that… you weren't there…." Reflected light made his dark glasses look like two large blazing eyes, gibing him a demonic countenance. That deep cowl added to the effect. "It was during our literary lessons." Jiraiya's death having made her feel even more responsible for the youth of the village, Tsunade had asked a number or Elders to start up various classes for the younger shinobi. "He…." He blinked rapidly, seeing orange chakra beginning to swirl around Naruto like a miniature twister.

"He was _magnificent!" _Ino chirped, clapping her hands and glancing over at Sakura. The other girl had missed the now famous escapade. That put her at a disadvantage of sorts. Perfect. She smiled, seeing Sakura look away and start examining her fingernails. "But not in a good way." Ino snickered. That good humor at Naruto's expense vanished in the blink of an eye. The chakra around the angry and embarrassed ninja was whipping about in wild tentacular fashion, an enraged octopus of energy.

"You can say _that_ again," Choji said in a rush, wanting to agree with Ino. More than that, he wanted Ino to hear him agree with her. He actually flinched when he caught Shikamaru's 'Et tu, Choji' look. That quickly had him feeling bad, since the last thing he ever wanted to do was disappoint his closest and oldest friend. He began choking on a deep-fried chip he inhaled when Naruto's chakra took on the outlines of a large fox.

"Oh… Naruto-kun…." A tired Hinata twiddled her fingers faster and faster, the friction causing a great deal of warmth. She had stayed awake late the night before, fantasizing. With Naruto's parentage now known, she had spent the time wondering if her father might accept him. That was putting the cart far before the horse. She still hadn't told Naruto how she felt about him. She went stiff, as Naruto quickly cycled through his one-, two-, and three-tailed forms.

The chakra issuing forth from Naruto's changing form actually caused discomfort to those shinobi nearest to him physically. Sakura clasped her hands over her chest, whispering "No… please stop… not again…." Just as the demon fox's jinchiruki began to grow a forth 'tail,' someone put a hand on his shoulder.

"It looks like it's a good thing that I happened by." Yamato's voice was calm and even, but there was a real look of concern in his eyes. He peered over at Kakashi, who broke off a jutsu he had been working. Yamatao knew all too well that when Naruto loses control and grows four chakra 'tails,' Kyubi's personality takes over. And, when he reaches _that _level, the chakra is so intense that it burns his skin, and could potentially do the same or worse to others. "_Whew-w-w_-w…." He let out a sigh of relief and mopped his brow, his Mokuton abilities once again having successfully suppressed the Nine-Tailed Fox's influence over Naruto Uzumaki, this time before the young man had suffered any untoward injury.

"I hope you realize how close you brought us to disaster," the Copy Ninja said to Kiba, after giving a nod of thanks to his fellow jounin. He then smiled, adding "But seeing how Yamato has everything under control, feel free to continue…." He closed his eye in good humor, before returning to his reading. Blithely he ignored Sakura's sputtering and Naruto's accusatory glare.

"What's going on here?" Neji walked up, followed by Ten Ten and Gai. They stood next to Lee. "Everyone was hurrying away from this general area."

"And there was a frightful sense of chakra!" Gai struck a manly but concerned pose. "No doubt it is my lifetime rivals fault." Light pinged off his teeth when he looked over at Kakashi.

"We were about to tell Sakura and Sai about Naruto's performance in class." Ino spoke directly to Ten Ten, but kept her eyes on Naruto. Her breath stuck in her chest. She prayed that he wouldn't begin changing again. Fortunately, nothing happen. He merely folded his arms across his chest, let out a petulant 'losers,' and turned his back on them.

"That's alright… we really don't need to hear about that now. I really _am_ starting to get hungry." Sakura came to Naruto's aid, narrowing her eyes when she made eye contact with Ino. "Right, Sai?"

"Well… I remember what you always tell me…." Sai's face remained as expressionless as usual. But, there was a glimmer of emotion in his eyes. He truly _did_ want to get better, and be more like everyone else. "The only way to get ahead is to learn from our mistakes. And, interaction with others is the best way to…." He closed his eyes, pain shooting up one leg. Sakura had stomped hard on the corresponding foot. But, she was too late. The ball was already rolling.

"Ahem." Kiba cleared his throat. "Me me me _me-e-e-e-e-e-e_…." He sounded as if he were about to start singing at a vocal recital. "O Ramen-chan! Ramen-chan! Wherefore art thou Ramen-chan? I would deny father and refuse my name; if that wilt not be enough, rather than be sworn of my love, I'll no longer promise to be Hokage!" His imitation of Naruto's voice and mannerisms had Choji holding his hand firmly over his own mouth, to keep from laughing out loud. His fellow ninjas grinned, giggled, or burst out with hearty guffaws.

"Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?" Shino shocked everyone by taking part. He correctly quoted the true next line in the play that Naruto had plagiarized.

"Anyone trying to take my Ramen is my enemy," Ino added, trying to remember what exact words Naruto had used. "And what art Ramen? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, what if it had some other name?" She held up one hand, as if holding an imaginary bowl. "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; so Ramen-chan would, were it not Ramen-chan called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Ramen-chan, whatever name, I will take it all for myself!"

"That was beautiful!" Gai sniffed as he wiped away a tear, clearly having missed the mockery, and the inherent ridiculous nature of the butchered verse. "Don't you agree, Lee?"

"…." Lee's mouth opened and closed like a fish. He couldn't meet his sensei's gaze. Next to him, Ten Ten and Neji looked at one another in resigned fashion. They truly admired and respected their teacher. But, there were moments when they found themselves embarrassed to be associated with him.

"It is doubly bothersome now," Shikamaru said in a dry tone of voice, hoping that would put an end to things once and for all. Seeing that Sai and Sakura were in need of an explanation, he continued. "In class, Koharu-sensei gave us quiet time, telling us to come up with some form of sonnet, poem, or verse."

"She almost fell over, hearing Naruto's!" Kiba smiled when Akamaru yapped. "I thought she was going to blow chunks or need a new set of panties!" That distasteful euphemism had Ino and Ten Ten making faces. "First she told him it was awful. Then, she had him going to the blackboard and writing 'I will not steal other's work' one hundred times. She added another hundred, after he tried to cheat by creating a roomful of clones."

"Hey! It wasn't that bad!" Naruto threw out his chest. Next to him, Sai couldn't tell if he was defending Ramen or his own performance. "She's just not a noodle lover. That's all. Simple. And I didn't steal anything. I just borrowed a few words here and there!" She stuck out his chin in belligerent fashion. "I'm just as good as anyone else."

"Really?" Ino smirked. "Then maybe we should have _another_ competition." She jumped when Shikamaru coughed loudly for effect.

"If so, I might suggest…." Sai was cut-off. As usual, no one paid him a lot of attention. He reminded himself to speak more loudly.

"Great idea!" Kiba beamed. He could see more hilarity on the horizon. Something like this could provide them all with good chuckles for a good year or more. "So… how should we do this…."

"To keep things short and simple, perhaps…." Sai was interrupted yet again.

"Some kind of poem," Shino recommended. "It need not rhyme. Not all of them do."

"But _not_ about Ramen!" Ten Ten sounded rather emphatic. She blinked rapidly when she saw the look on Neji's face. He would have preferred that the issue blow over. The last thing she wanted to do was get him upset at her.

"It might be illustrative to recite…." Sai made a face after getting verbally hijacked. He took a kunai out of his weapons pouch and began wrapping something around it.

"Heroic verse. Let's do _that!" _Choji penned a fresh bag of snacks and offered it around. "I think that would be something good for shinobi!"

"No," Kiba shook his head. Akamaru did the same. "Our whole damn _life_ is a heroic verse, right?" That had Ten Ten and Ino rolling there eyes. Hinata sighed. She still didn't feel very heroic, no matter how much she had changed.

"_Ahhhh-hhh-hh-h_…." Lee suddenly spoke up, his eyes aflame. "We should make up verses about our teachers!" He took up a Nice Guy pose and gave Gai a big thumbs up. "We are the future of this great village. But, we would not be who we were without…."

**W****-****H-A-M**

A small explosion threw dirt, pebbles, and chips from the stone street pavers high in the air. Shop windows a block away rattled. A hound ran yelping with fear. Akamaru watched it go with a look of disgust on his doggy face. When the dust settled and every stood wary, weapons at the ready, Sai stepped into the area his friends had jumped back from.

"Limericks." Sai brushed some dirty off of his robes. "I believe we should choose limericks." Those would be blissfully brief. Even he could see the benefit of brevity in the current morass.

"Limericks?" Sakura balled up her fists. She was about to say 'You nearly blew us all up for _Limericks,' _but Sai's rejoinder came too swiftly.

"A Limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem." Sai had read a book on limericks cover to cover, when he had failed to realize that the librarian was joking. The matronly woman had said 'You should read this book of limericks a young man returned. You can learn a lot about life from Limericks.'

"I _know _what a Limerick is!" Sakura said with some heat.

"No one cares about things like that!" Ino made a dismissive gesture with one hand. She was with Sakura on this one. She'd try not to make a habit out of that. "I mean, who in his right mind cares about Limericks?"

"Really?" Shikamaru folded his arms across his chest. "Out of all forms of literature, I think I like limericks the best. They're not all serious and stuffy. Poetry and verse tend to be much too troublesome for words."

"Busted," Kiba said, smiling at Ino's discomfort. It was no secret that Ino still had a powerful crush on her genius team member.

"Big time," Shino added, feeling a need to be part of the word play.

"Shikamaru is correct," Sai continued, glad to finally be able to contribute something towards his friendships. "Invented by soldiers returning to their home town of Limerick three hundred years ago, that kind of literary device is meant to be funny. Limericks often contain hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and other figurative devices. The last line of a good limerick contains the 'punch line' or 'heart' of the joke."

"Ona… mato… _what?" _Choji made a face. That had Shikamaru speaking directly into his friend's ear: "A word or a grouping of words that imitates the sound it is describing, suggesting its source object, such as 'click,' 'buzz,' or animal noises such as 'oink,' 'quack,' or 'meow'." He was briefly taken aback when Ton Ton stopped to turn a gimlet eye his way, letting out a resounding "Buhi," insulted that anyone might think a pig would 'oink.' The pig quickly resumed her errand for Shizune, feeling uncomfortable anywhere near the pork-loving Akimichi boy.

"The pattern of rhyme in a limerick is 'a - a - b - b - a,' with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. " Ten Ten had read that skimming through parts of their textbook they had not been assigned to read.

"Beats?" Lee looked confused. When he looked over at Gai, the older man shrugged.

"Here," Kakashi said, realizing that his knowing something would stick in Gai's craw. "Da **DAH** da, da **DAH** da, da **DAH**… da **DAH** da, da **DAH** da, da **DAH**… da **DAH** da, da **DEE**…da **DAH** da, da **DEE**…da **DAH **da, da **DAH **da, da **DAH**." He smiled when he saw his dark-haired rival clench his fists. "A beat is a heavy stress or accent in a line of poetry. The number of beats or stresses in a line usually determines the meter of the line." He had correctly sounded out the general format for limericks.

"La _**DEE**_ dah…." Kiba made a face. He held out a hand. Akamaru slapped it with his paw.

"Ummm-mm-m…." Hinata wasn't certain why she spoke up, especially since she didn't want her teammate or his furry companion to make sport of. Maybe it was because Naruto was actually listening intently, glad to have the subject shift away from him and his literary misadventure. "Good Limericks will not be insipid or pointless. They often have clever word play, eccentric spelling, or some other witty feature."

"That would leave Sakura out," Ino said with a chuckle. She half-waited for a rebuttal, but none was forthcoming. She felt a bit childish as a result.

"Sakura **AND **Naruto," Kiba quipped. "If we have to hear about Limericks, why don't we just _hear_ some limericks?" He was surprised to see Naruto grin instead of take offense. He must know some good limericks. No problem there. Kiba knew some good ones himself. Maybe this would be fun after all. He simply had to bide his time.

"Yes!" Gai pumped his fist in the air. "Kakashi, my old rival, this can be our next test of skill!" He hooked his thumb inside his vest. Why not try Limericks? After all, they had done Janken, 100 meter dashes, sumo wresting, and just about everything else imaginable, including dominoes and tiddly winks.

"Do you say something, Gai?" Kakashi looked up from his book. Gai now stood with his mouth open and eyes glazed. With a long sigh, the son of Konoha's White Fang capitulated. "Alright. If only to quiet you down. You go first."

"That's very brave of you," Gai said with a smirk. "After the judges here _my_ recital, you will stand little chance of victory." He looked over at Lee and nodded, filled with pride. There was absolutely no way he could lose. While he knew only one Limerick, it was a dyed-in-the-wool classic. "Hickory dickory dock… the mouse ran up the clock… the clock struck one… the mouse ran down… hickory dickory dock." Finished, he stood triumphantly, awaiting his well-earned praise. Everyone was speechless. As they should be, overcome with awe!

Lee's eyebrows twitched. He looked mortified. Usually, Gai-sensei could do nothing wrong in his eyes. Usually. This time was a rather notable exception. Head hanging, he sighed, gratified to feel Ten Ten and Neji put a hand on his shoulder.

Hinata nodded her head, familiar with that Limerick. It was one her late mother would sing to her and Hanabi. Still, kindly as she might be, she too realized just how lame that attempt truly was. She put her finger in her ears when Akamaru began yapping loudly, his version of canine laughter. Kiba and Choji followed suit. Naruto stuck out his lower lip and made a 'Geee-ee-e, and they thought _my_ stuff was bad' look.

The Copy Ninja didn't even bother with a comment. He simply tossed off the first clean verse that came to mind. He could have easily done otherwise, since that very _Icha Icha _book contained a chapter on dirty Limericks. There was even a thinly veiled piece on Tsunade that would have gotten the Frog Hermit killed, if Madara hadn't beat her to it. "A gambler in debt far too deep… was needing a way to live cheap… so he planted by hand… lots of crops on his land… now he just has to weed 'em and reap."

Everyone spoke up in terms of admiration. Naruto and Sakura had to explain the play on 'read'em and weep' to Sai, whose knowledge of gambling games was even worse than his understanding of people. Shino had to do the same for Hinata.

Unwisely, Gai called out for a vote. He was crestfallen when everyone but Lee voted for Kakashi. Lee abstained, looking away from his mentor. "Leee-ee-e…." Dejected, Konoha's Prideful Green Beast struck a valiant pose and began to carry out the secret promise he had made. Having lost, he would do one thousand cartwheels. 'It will make me stronger for my next match with my old rival,' he thought as he went on his way.

"That was great," Kakashi-sensei." Sakura spoke perfunctorily. She decided it might be good to get Naruto moving before everyone focused on him again. She was worried that his foray into the tailed forms, as brief as it had been, might have caused him some injury. "Naruto. Sai. Let's go."

"What's wrong?" Ino used her hands to smooth a meshwork vest she was wearing. "Afraid that someone might ask if _you_ know any Limericks?" She was on safe ground teasing the pink-haired girl that way. She knew a number of Limericks herself.

"Sai, stop." Sakura reached out and grabbed Sai by the collar, halting him in his tracks with her insane strength, nearly wrenching his neck in the process. "You too, Naruto." She couldn't just walk off now. Not after the blue-eyed girl had said what she did.

"It looks like we have to put up with another Sakura-moment," Naruto said under his voice to Sai. He wasn't unhappy about that, despite the dejected tone of his voice. His competitive spirit had been set in motion, and he felt a great need to save face.

"It would appear so," Sai replied. He looked at Sakura, then Ino, and then Sakura again. Did all women relate that way to one another. It deserved more study in the future.

"What a drag," Shikamaru drawled, eyeing Ino. "They're so predictable." He shook his head thinking 'They'll probably grow up to be like my mother.' He pictured his father being hen-pecked, again… and again… and again. Sighing, he decided to actually make an effort, if only as a preemptive matter. If someone didn't step in and fill the momentary vacuum, the girls' squabbling my grow louder and more noisome. "A gourmet dining at Crewe… found a rather large mouse in his stew… said the waiter, 'Don't shout"… and wave it about… or the rest will be wanting one, too'."

Everyone complimented Shikamaru on his great wit. Not only for the verse itself, but also for the way that it had diffused the situation. And, as like breeds like, his clever words prompted others to try their hand.

"There once was a man from Peru…." This was one of the few Limericks that Choji new. It had special significance to him, since he had experienced a very similar dream himself on many occasions. "…Who dreamed he was eating his shoe… he woke with a fright… in the middle of the night… to find that his dream had come true." He grunted when Naruto remarked in mock surprise that both of Choji's sandals matched.

"Out dining, an old alligator…." Sakura continued the trend, choosing a verse about eating. "When asked if he'd have coffee later… just shook his head… and pleasantly said…'I was planning on having the waiter'."

"Not bad for a big forehead girl," Ino said. "My turn. A funny young fellow named Perkins… was terribly fond of small gherkins…." She frowned when Choji licked his lips and tore open a bag with his teeth. "One day after tea… he ate ninety-three… and pickled his internal workins." When would that boy stopped sucking up food like a vacuum cleaner?

"I have one too," Ten Ten said. It was one that she had heard her father tell. "A haughty young bull known as Clyde… who had a magnificent hide… was bought, I am told…by a shoemaker bold… now everyone takes him in stride!" Everyone but Sai got the pun. After Yamato explained it too him, the former Root member offered a Limerick of his own.

"Once a cow in a field cried, 'Awake!'" Sai tried to put life into his telling, but fell short. But, no one was judgmental. They appreciated the fact that he was making his own strides, as small as they might be. "There has been a most ghastly mistake… I've been forced to conclude… that this herd has been screwed…we're not here just for milk but for steak." He didn't get the response that Shikamaru had, but was still pleased that his efforts were well accepted.

"If I may," Yamata said in polite fashion. There was one particular Limerick that he thought was clever. Sai's mention of cows, and the fact that a certain strange animal was called a sea-cow, brought it to mind. The verse had been one of the first things that had made him smile, years after he had been saved from the horrid life of being Orochimaru's experimental subject. "Alas for the death of Hugh Hannity…whose boat was capsized by a manatee… when they saw it swim by… all the townsfolk would cry…'There he goes! Oh the beast! The Hugh manatee!'"

"_Ahhhh-hhh-hh-h_…." Lee pumped his fist in the air. "The Hugh Manatee. The humanity!" He looked exceedingly proud at his deduction. "I get it!"

"Who brought _him?" _Kiba smacked his hand with his forehead. He looked over at his bespectacled teammate, who chose to make his own effort rather than comment on Lee's pride at understanding the obvious.

"A mosquito was heard to complain… that a chemist had poisoned his brain." Almost everyone was surprised to hear Shino contribute to the game. But, no one was shocked to here that his Limerick had to do with insects. "The cause of his sorrow… was para-dichloro…diphenyltrichloroethane." That was the full name of one of the first modern and synthetic pesticides. "**D**ichloro-**D**iphenyl-**T**richloroethane. DDT." Shino looked at all of the blank faces. He couldn't believe they weren't congratulating him too. "It was funny." He pulled his cowl further over his head and sulked, feeling much the way hat he had when Naruto first returned to the village after a two year absence, but didn't recognize him when they came across one another.

"Sai took part," Ten Ten said to Neji, breaking the awkward silence, wanting to coax her white-eyed teammate into joining. "Shino made an attempt. You should, too." She waited on pins and needles, hoping to see Neji show some growth of his own. She put a hand over her heart when he scowled, but was soon relived when he nodded his head and spoke.

"Alright," Neji said. Instinctively, he had come to understand how important change could be. Naruto had shown him that, and he was eternally grateful. "Since most were speaking about food and animals…." He thought a moment and then continued. "There was a young lady from Niger… who smiled as she rode on a tiger… they returned from the ride… with the lady inside… and the smile on the face of the tiger." He felt his face grow warm when Ten Ten clapped her hands and gave him an impulsive hug. That was intimate physical contact! With people watching!

"Everyone seems to have forgotten something," Kiba proclaimed. "Sakura spoke up. So did Sai. But will still haven't heard from the other member of that team." He looked over at Naruto. He hadn't forgotten how all of this had gotten started.

"Thanks," Naruto said. "A whole lot." He laced his hands together, trying to look nonchalant. Stretching out his arms, he cracked his knuckles. "It's no big deal. I'll prove it to you-dattebayo!" He scratched his chin. Ero-Sennin had regaled him with many a Limerick. Trouble was, most of them had been risqué or downright dirty. "Let me think…."

"We don't have _that_ long," Ino joked. That had her and Sakura exchanging glanced that seemed to crackle with wild electricity. "Just hurry up and lose with good grace."

"I'll prove you wrong!" Once again, Naruto's burning desire to succeed and be acknowledged helped him find the necessary answer. "There was a young fellow named Hall… who died in the spring in the fall…'twould have been a bad thing…had he died in the spring… but he didn't, he died in the fall." Jiraiya had claimed it was the only triple-pun Limerick he knew, and somehow it had become firmly lodged in his memory. Once again, the hairy old reprobate's training had served him well, surprising everyone in the process. He felt vindicated when he even had to explain the wordplay to Sai, Lee, and Choji. "Hah! I bet no one else can come up with one _that_ good! Believe it!"

"_Sheesh." _Shikamaru looked pained. But, he spoke up again just the same. "A wonderful bird is the pelican… his bill will hold more than his beli can…he can take in his beak…enough food for a week… but I'm darned if I know how the heli can!" That one was a classic, almost impossible to top. He felt a sell of satisfaction, the same way he did when he made a winning move in shogi.

"Hah hah! That was great!" Choji grinned, his large rotund face lighting up. "You're the best, Shikamaru." He began stuffing pork rinds in his mouth at a prodigious rate. That had Ino setting her jaw and nodding her head. She would try to get through to Choji again. Maybe she could shame the large boy into better eating habits _this_ time. It was true that large size was a requisite for his family's unique jutsus, but too much is too much.

"An exceedingly fat friend of mine… when asked at what hour he'd dine…replied, 'At eleven… at three, five, and seven… and eight and a quarter past nine'." Ino ignored the look of shock on her friends' faces. She automatically tried to make a point she had made in the past. This time it was in roundabout fashion, but everyone knew who she was referring to. She tacked on a little commentary to bring things to a head. "And being like that, he never had a girlfriend!"

"You know we are not supposed to say the F-word." Shikamaru's asserted. Then, to reassure his friend and to touch on Ino's own self-image, he said "A blonde girl named Emily Skinner… would not eat a bite of her dinner… she'd been painting her door… and the man at the store… had told her she had to get thinner." He patted Choji on the shoulder. "Remember how some girls think they should lose weight, even though most of them look better with some meat on their bones." In response to that, Choji nodded his head, looking like he felt somewhat better. Ino, by contrast, looked like she had taken a big gulp of water, only to find it were paint thinner.

"That's _right!" _Naruto spoke up, even though he was far from an expert on girls. When he accidentally caught Hinata's eyes, he was puzzled again. Why did she always look to be on the verge of passing out?

"I suppose that makes sense," Sai said, recalling something he had been told. "That explains why Naruto once said that he hoped that Sakura continued to take after the Hokage. She has the Hokage's temper and her incredible strength. She is acquiring the Hokage's medical skills." He wondered why Naruto was flailing his arms so hard that it looked like he was trying to fly like a bird. "He said things would be perfect if Sakura would hurry up and grow… what was the word?" He quickly drew something on the pad he carried, creating ink figures that held Naruto at bay. "Oh, yes. 'Hooters.' He said it would be great if Sakura had 'Granny Tsunade's hooters'."

"Sai! You… you…" Naruto folded up like a cot when Sakura's punch caught him hard in the solar plexus.

"Naruto, you _pig!" _Sakura's face was a sight to see. The Inner Sakura looked like a fiend from the very pits of the underworld.

Yamato shook his head. He had the ability to suppress Kyubi. He had been instrumental in helping him learn a technique the boy's father never had time to perfect. But, he couldn't protect Naruto from himself. Next to him, Kakashi closed his eye in reflection. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

"I don't think he'll live long enough to be Hokage," Ten Ten said to Neji. Heaing how Naruto's moaning voice sounded like a young girl's, she remembered another Limerick she had heard. "There once was a macho young swimmer named Dwyer… really liked playing with fire… one night in the dark…he swam with a shark… and his voice is now two octaves higher." Miracle of miracles, that brought a brief grin to Neji's lips. To Ten Ten, it was a moment she would treasure. Her smile broadened when she saw the look on Lee's face when Neji begrudgingly explained what the bit about 'two octaves higher' meant.

"Naruto… do you have a death wish, or something?" Kiba chuckled. Sakura had resumed her attack. Naruto had created a street full of shadow clones, but the pink-haired girl was quickly dispatching them one by one. His humorous observation brought a Limerick to mind. He glanced at Hinata out of the corner of his eye as he began: "As the poets have mournfully sung… death takes the innocent young…." He paused for effect. He watched as Yamato created wooden shields to separate Sakura from Naruto. "Those rolling in money… those screamingly funny…." Time for the punch line. "And those who are very well hung."

"…." Hinata began wobbling again. When she automatically looked over at Naruto, her face turned bright red and she keeled over.

"Hinata!"Ino hurried to check on the collapsed girl, with Ten Ten close behind. "Sakura! Stop fooling around! We need you over here!" When a concerned medical ninja reached Hinata's side, she woke the other kunoichi with a vial of powerful smelling salts.

"She'll be fine," Sakura remarked, after feeling Hinata's head, checking her eyes, and reading her pulse.

"Yes. This is not the first time," Shino claimed. He spoke the truth. His team member once had an alarming propensity to become syncopal in a certain orange-clad ninja's presence. He had thought that she had overcome that problem. Obviously, he was wrong. He too thought of a Limerick. Normally he would remain quiet, if only in deference to his quiet and thoughtful friend. But, he felt a need to participate. "There was a young lady named Rood… who was such an absolute prude… that she pulled down the blind… when changing her mind… lest a curious eye might intrude." That had some looking at Shino in surprise, and others looking at Hinata with fondness. She was who she was, and everyone had learned to respect her for that.

"Let her rest," Sakura said with a tone of annoyance to Shino. She knew she was being a bit too protective, but she was still furious with her own teammate. Maybe that was why her bossy spirit overruled her common sense. She gave Kiba a stern look and said "Keep things clean." She glowered at Naruto. "You, too!" She expanded her glance to include all of the boys, even though Neji and Lee were hardly the type to follow Kiba's suit. Either was Shikamaru for that matter.

"That's right!" Ino found herself agreeing with Sakura yet again. Moments later, Ten Ten echoed her sentiment.

"I didn't say anything." Naruto narrowed his eyes. He hated to be told what to do. Not only that, he hadn't done anything wrong. Well, not recently. He thought: 'But, _now_ I will….' The look in his eyes matched that of Kiba. Choji himself looked somewhat contemplative, wondering if he should risk Ino's anger, but also feeling some need to be contrary after her earlier stinging rebuke. Shikamaru muttered something in his usual fashion, debating whether he should simply leave before things got even more irritating, or to stay and strike a blow for men against the tyranny of women. He sighed. Even his own thoughts were becoming overly melodramatic! What a bother.

"Why do girls always have to make mountains out of molehills." Kiba smiled when Akamaru yapped in agreement.

"That was another phrase Naruto used to _mrphlbrglmrph_…." Sai couldn't finish saying '….reference the tardy growth of Sakura's chest.' Naruto had his hand clamped tightly over his mouth.

"There was a young girl from Madras…." Naruto quickly spoke up, hoping to keep Sakura from putting two and two together. He ached all over as it was. Jiraiya once said that he had faced near certain death two times. One incident came when he had to stop Naruto when he took on his tailed form. The other had been when, years in the past, his lewdness had pushed his busty blonde teammate past the edge. Naruto had no intention to see history repeat itself, with himself in the role of Jiraiya, and Sakura in the role of Old Lady Tsunade. "…Who had a most beautiful ass…." He watched as Hinata's eyes went wide, wondering if she would remain conscious this time. "Not rounded and pink… as you probably think…but gray, with long ears, and ate grass."

"_Uhhhh-hhh-hh-h_…." Lee's eyes had perked up. "I thought you meant…." His face turned beet red. This time, it was _his_ eyes that had a life of their own. He looked over at Sakura. That had the pinked-haired girl going stiff as a board and turning as white as a sheet. She held up both arms, as if trying to keep a terrible thought at bay.

"D'uh," Kiba uttered in response to Lee. He had grown to admire Naruto in many ways, even though the other ninja's impulsive behavior still pissed him off to no end. His respect grew in one particular manner. That Limerick had been perfect. But, it was time to up the ante. The girls really _should_ have let bygones be bygones. "Let's see. This ought to do just fine. There was a young girl from Rabat… who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat… it was fun in the breeding… but hell in the feeding… when she found she had no tit for Tat." There. He had squeezed 'tit' in there, so to speak, without actually being too bawdy. That ought to get the girls' panties in a knot, without giving them a leg to stand on. Yet.

"Ki-baaa-aa-a…." Ino looked somewhat perturbed. Not so much for what Kiba had just said, but for what it might portent. Still, she should have learned by now the value of letting small things go. "I'm warning you."

"Hah!" Naruto folded his arms against his chest. He hated to see people bullied, and was not a big fan of empty threats. This situation might truly be neither, but it came close enough to trigger his usual reactions. "Warning him? What can _you_ do?" He smiled over at Kiba who gave him a 'Let's do this' nod of the head. "A nudist by the name of Roger Peet… loved to dance in the snow and the sleet… but one chilly December… he froze every member… and retired to a monkish retreat." That had Kiba laughing, Akamaru barking, Hinata going scarlet, and the other girls opening their mouths for some kind of retort. But, Naruto didn't stop there. He was on a roll, and that one had been just a bit too tame for a next step. "There once was a gaucho named Bruno… who said, 'Sex is one thing I _do _know…a woman is fine… and sheep are divine…but llamas are Numero Uno!'" Akamaru howled.

"L…L…Llamas…." Lee went cross-eyes, taking things all too seriously once again.

"Naruto-kun…." Hinata brought her hand to her mouth. She did not want to picture something like that! She knew that Naruto was only joking, and had no attraction to animals in that way. Just the same, it left her week in the knees until she forced herself to be strong. Yes, she was a bit of a prude; but, that wasn't so bad, _was_ it? She would try to be strong in front of her precious person, even if it was in some simple and private way.

"I think that is enough Limericks for now," Ten Ten said in a rush. "We all have things we…." She was interrupted by Choji, who remembered a Limerick that Asuma had told him and Shikamaru when Ino had been out of earshot.

This was his chance to be cool, to be one of the guys. "There once was a couple named Kelly… who walked around belly to belly… because in their haste… they used library paste…instead of petroleum jelly." Feeling empowered, he quickly segued into a second Limerick: "There once was a pirate, the story relates… who liked to go dancing on skates… he fell on his cutlass… which rendered him nutless… and virtually useless on dates." He felt a jolt when he caught sight of the look on Ino's face. But, the icy chill running up and down his spine was replaced by a growing warmth of satisfaction, when Kiba and Naruto gave him a resounding round of nonverbal praise.

"I can see where this is going," Shikamaru mumbled to himself, slipping away from the congregation. The was a hillside calling him and clouds to watch. If Ino was going to get into one of her hissy fits, he didn't want to be anywhere in the general vicinity. Neji and Ten Ten made their exit independently. Neji thought to signal for Hinata to follow, but Ten Ten convinced him that his cousin needed to make her own decisions.

"Choji!" Ino's eyes flashed like the fiery orbs of a demented oni. "You… that… how could…." She was sputtering too much to get her words out.

"Ten Ten was right." Sakura scanned the area, but didn't see Ten Ten anywhere. She continued anyway. "That's enough of that. I don't think that Tsunade would be very pleased with this kind of behavior."

"I'm not going to tell the Hokage," Kiba said. "Are _you?" _He gave the girl a pointed stare, daring her to admit that she was a tattletale. Then, he smiled evilly. "But… hey… feel free to do so… as long as you repeat everything we say word for word. Everything." While the medical ninja stood there petrified for an instant, he did what anyone could correctly predict he might do. "There once was a fellow from Poole… who found a red ring round his tool… his Doctor, a cynic… said 'Get out of my clinic… and wipe off that lipstick you fool!'"

"T… T… Tool?" Hinata wasn't familiar with that slang. Innocent or not, however, she could easily figure it out.

"Jerk!" Ino exclaimed. She then rushed to say 'I mean Kiba,' to make certain Hinata didn't misunderstand. "Boys are so immature. At least some of them." Not realizing that Shikamaru and Neji had left, she said "There's a reason wht Shikamaru was first to become chuunin, and Neji jounin." She looked over at Naruto. "And why someone is still a genin." She knew that wasn't fair, especially since Naruto had become extremely powerful, and simply never had time to take the exams again. But, she figured her comments might shut the boys up, lest they end up proving her point. That just went to show that she didn't know Naruto all that well.

"The girl I brought home was a prize," Naruto said abruptly. He still only knew one way to fight: damn the torpedoes and steam straight ahead! "With an alluring set of bright blue eyes…." He paused, looking Ino in the eyes. Those eyes of course, by no coincidence, were a striking shade of blue. "Her breasts, so well kept…were what I'd expect…" If Ino looked like a Chinese rocket waiting for someone to light its fuse at that stage of the Limerick, she would truly be a sight to see when he finished. "But her penis was quite a surprise."

"Hah!" Kiba barked louder than his furry friend. "Uzumaki Naruto, you-da-man!"

"P-… P-…P-…." Hinata wobbled back and forth like a ten pin graced by the ball. "Oh… Naruto-kun…." Her slowly fell backwards, hitting the cobblestones with a loud 'thwump.' She was out cold. After sending Naruto somersaulting with a wicked uppercut, Sakura rushed to Hinata's side again.

Sai soon landed in a crumpled heap, just a few feet from Naruto. Once again, his naivety did him wrong. Curious, he asked Ino if she truly was genitally endowed. Enraged, Ino grabbed him by the neck and threw him like a Frisbee.

"Nice distance," Shino remarked dryly. Akamaru agreed.

"These shinobi are the future of our village," Yamato said to Kakashi. "I find that comforting." He practically dripped with sarcasm. He stiffened a bit when Kakashi informed him that Yondaime was nearly a match for Jiraiya with dirty poetry, and that Sarutobi had been the best of them all.

"I'm leaving!" Ino turned her nose up. "Well… _after _I see that Hinata's okay…." She put her hands on her hips and glared at Naruto, Sai, Kiba and Choji. The latter held his hands up, a clear 'Why me' response. "Not one more Limerick. Not one more. Not one."

"Alright," Kiba said with a straight face, his plan already hatched. "It's not worth anyone ending up in the hospital." He sounded contrite to everyone but Shino and Akamaru. They knew him too well to make that mistake. "So… no more Limericks… _after_ I tell the most famous one of all." He wasn't actually going to do that. But, the verse he was going to recite started with the same line as that world renown dirty Limerick. "There once was a man from Nantucket…."

"_**KIBA!" **_Ino began working seals. She knew that dirty Limerick. She had never wanted to hear such a thing, but had walked in upon the elder Ino-Shika-Cho trio while they sat drunk in a bar. Her father had been the one telling the Limerick at the time. She still carried emotional scars from that unexpected discovery.

"… Who stored all his cash in a bucket." Kiba resumed, his second line deflating Naruto, who knew the dirty verse. Choji stopped mid-munch, disappointed himself. He Didn't know the bawdy version, and wanted to know what all of the fuss was about. Lee looked oblivious to it all, watching Sakura as she helped Hinata up. Sai kept writing the words down, not knowing the trick that Kiba had played. Shino was happy simply to be included in the group. "His daughter, named Nan… ran away from the man… and as for the bucket, Nan tucket."

Ino could have stopped her _Shintenshin no Jutsu, _the Mind Body Switch Technique. But, even though Kiba hadn't told the Limerick she had feared he would, she still felt that he had the punishment coming to him. She said "Choji, watch my body," and then quickly added "You know what I mean!" With that last word, she took control of Kiba's body. She couldn't do anything to hurt him physically, without doing damage to herself. But, there was still plenty she could do.

Under the irate kunoichi's control, Kiba involuntarily pranced about the crowded streets on his toes, singing 'I'm a Little Tea Pot.' Dashing into various boutiques, he tried on women's clothing in front of the startled distaff habitué. He put on mime shows for a group of toddlers out for a stroll with their attendants. Whatever embarrassing thing Ino thought up, Kiba's body did. It would take him a good long while to live it all down.

While the blue-eyed girl continued to prove herself to be as talented a puppeteer as Kankuro in her own way, the other shinobi began heading off. A number made attempts to come to Kiba's aid, only to decide that discretion was the better part of valor. What happened to him, could happen to them, too.

Hinata rode on Akamaru, with Shino making certain the discombobulated girl didn't fall off. Not really wanting to leave his companion, but realizing that the jutsu simply had to run its course, the massive canine prepared to show his displeasure, intending to lift one large leg and douse Ino's body with malodorous urine. But, because of Choji's heroic sacrifice, he chose not too. The rotund boy had opened a bag of his favorite chips, and held the bag out for the slobbery dog.

"I hope Ino appreciates me," Choji said, eyes closed, unable to watch Akamaru wolf down his crunchy treasure.

Lee watched Sakura a moment longer, before leaving with a sigh of unrequited yearning. As he walked, he debated whether he should find Neji and Ten Ten and join in their training, or track down Gai-sensei to console his teacher.

Kakashi. Naruto, Sai, and Sakura headed on their way too, with Naruto standing as far away from the grumbling girl as he could. Yamato conferred with the Copy Ninja briefly, and then headed off on his own when the masked ninja assured him that things would remain under control. There had been more than enough tomfoolery for one day. No, for an entire week!

"That was a very interesting encounter," Sai remarked happily. He had been able to witness all sorts of fascinating human behavior. "I believe that it will prove to be quite educational when I think things through." He watched as Kiba ran past on all fours, a large soup bone clasped between his teeth. He privately decided that Ino was going too far, when Kiba then made a beeline for the nearest fire hydrant. "But, I admit to being disappointed."

"Why?" Sakura couldn't help herself. Asking that question was the polite thing to do.

"That last Limerick obviously wasn't the famous one that Kiba promised." Sai continued speaking, his face the epitome of impassivity. "But… Ino… she thought she knew what it might be….

"_And?" _Naruto asked his question after as Sai thought how precisely to phrase his inquiry.

"What kind of Limerick could get her so upset?" Sai cocked his head. "Do any of you know the Limerick?"

"There once was a _frblgrphlmrbll_…." Naruto's reply was smothered at the source.

"Some things in life will remain a mystery," Sakura said, her dander up again. That Naruto! He just didn't know when to stop!

"That much is true," Kakashi offered. "With women at the top of the list." His uncovered eye closed as he grinned. "But… since you might find it (cough) _educational_…." He flipped through the _Icha Icha _book and handed it to Sai. As Fate would have it, the Limerick was there, highlighted in red bold-face type.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura stomped her foot. What was her teacher thinking?

"Hmmm-mm-m…." Sai's eyes practically devoured the words as he read and spoke out loud, unaware that Naruto placed himself between him and a frantic Sakura. "There once was a man from Nantucket… whose thing was so long he could suck it… he said with a grin… as he wiped off his chin… if my ear was a cu-….." He finished reading, but didn't have time to speak the words."

"I see," a woman's voice snarled, so filled with acid that it could melt through ten feet of the toughest metal. "_This _is the kind of thing you're teaching them." It was Tsunade, dressed in full regalia, sporting the Tri-corner hat. By her side, a scowling Koharu Utatane and Homura Mitokado stepped into view, followed by a number of other village Elders and gaggle of visiting dignitaries.

Kakashi felt as if someone was traipsing on his grave. No, the feeling was worse than that. It was even worse than the feeling of the cold steel of an enemy's blade at his neck. There was no explanation he could offer. He expected some punishment, but was as shocked as anyone there at what happened next.

"Raikage …Kazekage…." As a steaming Tsunade spoke, Gaara stepped into view. He gave Naruto a subtle nod, and then surprised his friend by smiling. "…Mizukage… Tsuchikage… honored guests… I beg your indulgence. Please continue without me. I will return shortly." She bowed in apology to the four leaders and their entourages. "Let's go!" She grabbed Kakashi firmly by the ear and began pulling him along.

Naruto wiped his brow and let out a long breath. He had been certain that Tsunade would blame him too, somehow. As it turned out, his relief was mistimed. The Hokage stopped, changed her mind, headed back towards him.

"You too, brat!" Tsunade took hold of Naruto's ear, too. "I'm certain you had something to do with it. If not that, then something else!" With that, she began dragging a future Hokage by the ear, in front of the four present day Kages. So, it was a current Hokage, dragging a potential Hokage and a younger future Hokage, in front of four other Kages. That kind of thing doesn't happen every day!

"Naruto…." Sakura first felt sorry for the yellow-haired dynamo. Then, remembering everything that had happened, she changed her mind. "Serves you right. _Hmpf!"_

"Sakura, you too!" The Hokage's voice carried back to her student. If she could have seen the Inner Sakura, she would have noticed that the smoking figure looked like it had been struck by lightning. "It was your task as shinobi to keep your team members in line."

"But… but…." Sakura hurried to catch up. It wasn't fair! It just wasn't fair!

Sai patiently waited his own summons. One never came. Seeing that he had been forgotten or absolved of guilt, he began recording the most recent events in his logbook. "Fascinating," he said to no one in particular. "Truly fascinating."

**-END-**


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N:_

Here's a little bonus epiloque. The same warnings given before Chapter 1 apply to this chapter as well.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

The sky looked dark and foreboding.

Enormous pillow-like clouds blanketed the area; but, there were a few holes where morning's first rays could shine down on the cliff face.

Here and there across the great walled village, the sounds of a populace starting their day could be heard. Shops were opening. Trumpet calls signaled the changing of shifts. Happy children shouted as they ran off to their classes. Dogs barked when they were allowed back outside. Cart-bound barkers began calling out their wares.

"You'd think they didn't have a care in the world," the Hokage said, walking side by side with Shizune. She stopped for a moment when she saw Sakura hurrying to join them. "I wish _I _was so lucky." It had been somewhat trying, spending days locked up with numerous Kages, hammering out a series of treaties and alliances. She looked up at the sky, hoping the ominous appearance wasn't some kind of omen. Much of Akatsuki lay in ruins, but the architect of that dreadful group had managed to escape.

"You deserve a rest," Shizune asserted. "Everyone knows how much you've done for this village. No one wants to see you work yourself into an early grave." She tapped her fingers against her chin. "Maybe a visit to the onsen!" She bit her lip and shivered for a moment. She shouldn't have suggested that. Jiraiya had been very fond of hot springs. Hot springs, telescopes, and young scantily-clad beauties. The only Sannin remaining, Tsunade had been hit terribly hard by the Frog Hermit's death. His picture now graced her desk, next to that of Nawaki and Dan. "Sorry."

"It's alright," Tsunade said. "I can't hide from everything that reminds me of him, the hairy old fool!" She sighed. "I made that mistake before. You know that." She was making reference to the way that the sight of blood once left her unable to act. "Naruto helped cure me."

"Morning, Ma'am." Sakura carried the supplies they would need that morning at the clinic. "Speaking of Naruto… I mean… don't you think…." The pink-haired girl didn't want to speak out of place, but felt she should stand up for her teammate, even though he had aggravated her most of all.

"You _did _go a little hard on him," Shizune offered, being the one person who could dare risk Tsunade's wrath. "And he's hurting, too." She felt a sense of relief when Tsunade stopped, chewed on one worn and cracked nail, and then nodded her head. "Besides… despite the things we heard about him…." Not looking at Sakura, she didn't see the younger woman blush brightly, stung by guilt. "…Kakashi was the one at fault for… you know…."

"I know," Tsunade said, sounding weary and exasperated. She really did not want to talk about this, either. "I _know. _But, he would gladly have gone marching down that street reciting out loud, had he been given that chance." Sakura had been very thorough in her debriefing. "Wrong intention and poor judgment are just as important as bad actions. That's something he needs to learn, if he really wants to be Hokage." Her brow furrowed. Naruto probably wouldn't be ready to be a Kage by the time she stepped down. The most logical choice to take the helm before him was Kakashi. Naturally, the Copy Ninja had been the one who prompted that embarrassing incident! Did fate have it in for her? Sometimes she wondered!

"But… he…." Sakura took a deep breath and then spoke in a rush. "He did everything you told him to do without complaining, even though he thought he was innocent. He apologized to all of the Kages, and their groups. He helped carry all of their baggage when the loaded up the wagons for the trip home. He even cleaned up after the horses."

"And there were a lot of horses," Shizune put in. "Big horses." Countless brown mounds had littered the main street, all of the way to the Great Gate. "_Really _big horses. And you made him use that dinky little shovel." It had been little more than a trowel.

"Is that supposed to make me feel sorry for him," the Hokage retorted, sounding as if she were wanting to be contrary for contrariness's sake. "I figured that the punishment fit the crime. If he wants to talk dirty, then maybe he should get a chance to clean everything up." She rubbed at her eyes. Truth be told, she had felt a bit edgy after making her decree. As Hokage, she had to make certain she didn't overstep her bounds and or act petty.

"But that wasn't the worst part!" Sakura clapped her hand over her mouth after blurting that out. Tsunade had sent runners to every Ramen bar in town, and even posted a covert guard at the Ichiraku. The word had spread fast. Uzumaki Naruto was not to be allowed Ramen for an entire week. No noodles of any kind, fresh… freeze dried… whatever. She opened her mouth again, but quickly closed it. She had meant to say 'And you didn't even say anything to Ino, after the things she did to Kiba.' No. She didn't want to stoop that low.

"He'll survive," Tsunade said with a wry look. "It might even do him some good, having a chance to eat something different for a change." She waved her hand in perfunctory fashion. "Besides… what do they say… absence makes the heart grow stronger." She frowned again, her brief moment of mirth extenuated. "After that incident with Sai and the book… my stomach was so queasy… I couldn't eat anything for three full days!"

The verbal exchange continued as the three medical specialists made their way across the city. Bit by bits, the clouds parted, letting greater amounts of light through. While the village was still pretty dark, the cliff with the stone Hokage faces seemed to glow in comparison. No one walking in the streets could help but look up at it. As the town grew lighter, so did Tsunade's spirit. Her two companion tried to help her get through her mourning over Jiraiya's loss by speaking about the great man's good side and the way his sacrifice had helped save Naruto. They also spoke highly of that orange-clad ninja, saying how much he had matured since his training with the late Sannin.

"So, you _really _think he has changed for the better?" Tsunade looked at Sakura in rather pointed fashion. "He's still rather impulsive, and that temper of his really needs serious work. He can't allow his need for attention to put him in awkward situations." She sighed, tapping one cheek with her fingernail. There was no doubt that Naruto's heart was in the right place. She had learned that much back when Orochimaru courted her services, and he had miraculously won her prized necklace. He had also proven himself many times over since that time, and had the makings of a very fine man. There would never be another Yellow Flash, but the boy had a world of potential. That's precisely why she didn't want to see good talent go to waste.

"Yes, Ma'am." Sakura nodded. "I think he has changed a lot. A whole lot."

"Even though he still makes you crazy? Eh? _Mmm-mm-m _hmm." The Hokage smirked. She knew exactly how Sakura must feel at times. She had been given her own cross to bear, seeing what teammates she had been gifted with. She closed her eyes, feeling rather melancholy. "I really need to trust your judgment too, right? When I hand in the Tri-corner hat, I'll also be finished as a healer. I've seen enough death and pain in my life. I will put the Medical Center in your hands. Yours and Shizune's." When Ton Ton waddled over, she bent down to scratch the pig under her chin.

Sakura and Shizune promised to do their best. They also swore to help Tsunade mold Naruto into a model citizen and a well-respected ninja. Finally wearing her down, they got the Hokage to promise that she'd pardon the excitable boy's actions, taking away any of the remaining punishment.

"As long as he behaves," Tsunade said with a forceful tone of voice.

"Thank you, Ma'am." Sakura clasped her hands together, happy for Naruto. She felt the guilt resting heavy on her shoulders float away, as if it had turned from lead into butterflies. "I'm sure he will, Ma'am!" No sooner had she said that, then the three kunoichi rounded a corner, gaining full view of the cliff side. Sakura froze solid, like a statue. The Inner Sakura did the same, only to shatter into a million pieces.

"Oh no…." Shizune brought a hand to her mouth. Her sense of shock and disbelief was no less strong than the pink-haired girl's. She didn't want to imagine what might happen next.

"I'll… I'll… I'll…." It was a rare moment when Tsunade couldn't get her words out. Seeing her face, a number of old washer women hurried quickly across the street, and a small group of children out for a walk with their nannies burst into tears. The only thing that might have been more frightening would have been the sight of a leering Nine-Tailed Demon Fox peering over the Great Wall, licking his chops. "I'll _k-i-l-l _him!"

Yes. The more things change, the more they stay the same. It seems that Naruto didn't take his punishment so well, after all. And, as everyone could plainly see, he didn't keep his feelings of unhappiness to himself.

"That idiot…." Sakura couldn't hear her own whisper. The blood was pounding too loudly in her ears. Seeing what she saw, her thoughts immediately went back to the day before she, Sasuske, and Naruto had been made part of Team Seven, to a time when the villager's hatred and bitterness had tortured a young jinchiruki worse than Morino Ibiki ever could. The lonely boy had found dramatic ways to strike back in those days. He obviously had brushed the dust off of one of those just for this occasion.

A large amount of paint lay drying on the cliff face. Black paint, in the form of a gigantic mustache, graced the upper lip of the stone face carved to resemble the Fifth Hokage. An enormous red arrow pointed to that very face, leading from tall jagged words boasting a bright yellow hue. Those words were written in the form of a Limerick:

**THERE ONCE WAS A KAGE WHO HURT**

**WHEN SHE SQUEEZED HER GREAT BOOBS IN A SHIRT**

**---'CAUSE SHE USED A STRONG SPELL**

**---SO NO ONE COULD TELL**

**SHE'S REALLY MUCH OLDER THAN DIRT**

Tsunade took off running with no warning. When a wagon loaded with quarried stone stopped in her way, she reduced both wagon and stone to dust with a powerful punch. Hair streaming behind her, she disappeared from view in the resultant mushroom cloud of dust.

"I'll go notify the ANBU squad!" Shizune turned, intending to flash away as swiftly as possible. She didn't, since Sakura reached out and grabbed her sleeve.

"You're going to have them catch Naruto?" There was a catch in Sakura's voice. She didn't approve of Naruto's actions, especially since she had just stuck her neck out for him. But, she was his teammate and friend, and didn't want to see him injured severely. She doubted that Tsunade's rage would lead her to treat him the way she had Jiraiya; but, she couldn't be one hundred percent certain.

"No," Shizune said. "I'll send them to protect him. He's going to need all of the help he can get!"

**END**


End file.
